Pacaran untuk Mencari Jodoh yang Sholeh

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Oleh: Muhammad Al Ghifari – Sekertaris Umum LDK Syahid 20

Sebelum cari kriteria “Pacar yang cocok dan sholeh untuk dijadikan istri”, kita harus ketahui bersama bahwa.PACARAN DI DALAM ISLAM ITU HARAM!
Kok bisa haram sih?

Kalau mau nyari kata “pacaran” dalam Al Quran maupun hadits, emang gak bakalan bisa ditemukan. Tapi, coba deh kita bahas apa aja sih yang biasa dilakukan oleh orang yang pacaran?

1. Telepon berduaan aja, jalan-jalan berduaan aja, naik motor berduan, nyari tempat sepi berdua biar adem, apa namanya kalo bukan berkhalwat? Tau kan ada hadits yang isinya begini.

لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ كَانَ ثَالِثَهُمَا الشَّيْطَانُ

“Tidaklah seorang lelaki berduaan dengan seorang wanita kecuali yang ketiganya adalah setan.” (HR. At-Tirmidzi dan Ahmad)

Wanita yang dimaksud di hadits ini adalah wanita yang bukan mahramnya. Mahram itu apa? Orang yang gak bisa dinikahi; ibu, adek/kakak perempuan, anak, nenek, dst. Kalau mahramnya cewek? Disesuaikan saja lah~

2. Minimal orang yang pacaran itu ada acara pegangan tangan, pelukan bentar, pelukan lama, dan seterusnya. Pegangan dengan yang bukan mahramnya gak boleh loh. Ada salah satu hadits yang isinya ini :

لأَنْ يَطْعَنَ فيِ رَأْسِ رَجُلٍ بِمِخْيَطٍ مِنْ حَدِيدٍ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَنْ يَمَسَّ امْرَأَةً لاَ تَحِلُّ لَهُ

“Seorang ditusuk kepalanya dengan jarum dari besi adalah lebih baik ketimbang menyentuh wanita yang tidak halal baginya.” (HR. Ath-Thabarani, no. 16880, 16881)

Tuh, ngeri kan?

3. Sedikit-sedikit, lama-lama menjadi bukit. Peribahasa ini bisa dipake ke sini, sedikit-sedikit pegangan, lama-lama. (terusin sendiri). Ada loh ayat Alquran yang berbunyi :’

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا

“Dan janganlah kalian mendekati zina. Sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji. dan suatu jalan yang buruk.” (Al-Israa’: 32)

Zina itu apa sih? Udah tau kan? Tau, hal-hal seperti apa yang mendekatkan pada zina? Berkhalwat, pegang-pegangan dengan yang bukan mahrammnya, dan seterusnya.

Jadi, kesimpulannya pacaran itu GAK BOLEH alias HARAM dalam Islam. Dan, gak ada tuh “cari pacar yang sholeh”, KARENA ORANG SOLEH GA AKAN PACARAN grin emoticon

“Tapi aku kan mencintainya, kakak…”
Kalo kamu mencintainya, jangan biarkan ia berada dalam jalan yang tak diridhai Allah. Kalau ingin bersama selamanya, ya gunakan cara yang sesuai tuntunan Allah dan Rasulullah dong. Apa itu? Nikah!!!

“Tapi kan belum siap?”
Diamlah dan berdoa kepada Allah untuk dianugerahkan jodoh terbaik dan tepat supaya kamu senantiasa ada dalam ridha Allah.

“Gak bisa diem atuh. Kalo si cinta malah pacaran dengan yang lain, gimana?”

Ya, berarti si cinta gak bisa mengabdi ke Allah. Kok cari jalan yang tak diridhai Allah. Tujuan pacaran emang banyak sih. Ada yang coba-coba karena “kata temen asik”, ada yang buat asik-asikan doang. Tapi kali ini saya anggap orang yang pararan ingin mencapai tujuan yang sama, PERNIKAHAN.

Nah, pernikahan itu sendiri adalah menyatukan dua insan yang memiliki perbedaannya masing-masing dalam satu ikatan “perjanjian” sakral. Dua insan memutuskan membuat “perjanjian” karena memiliki kepentingan yang sama, setidaknya si pembuat janji merasa rekan “perjanjiannya” bisa memenuhi kebutuhan atas perjanjian yang dibuat.

Begitupun dengan pernikahan. Bila tujuannya tak terpenuhi, habislah pernikahan itu bisa cerai. Kalau pernikahan didasari oleh harta, ketika pasangan miskin, maka pernikahan terancam. Kalau pernikahan didasari oleh ketampanan/kecantikan, ketika usia melunturkan kerupawanan, pernikahan pun terancam.

Maka, pastikan pernikahan didasari oleh dasar yang abadi. Allah. bila menikah didasari untuk “menggapai ridha Allah bersama”, maka rintangan apapun yang dihadapi takkan menghancurkan pernikahan. Pernikahan aman, berkah lagi grin emoticon

“Tapi dia menikah dengan yang lain frown emoticon

Ya, dia bukan jodoh lo kali. Kan manusia gak dia doang. carilah pasangan hidup yang hidupnya untuk menggapai ridha Allah, maka insya Allah kebahagiaan dunia akhirat akan di raih

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